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/shr/ - Shrek

For all things shrek
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Shrekchan minecraft server is now online! Cracked players also welcome! Version 1.7.9 and IP: shrekchan.org

File: 1407209024395.jpg (31.25 KB, 225x225, shrekur138553425041.jpg)

 No.400324[Reply]

New greentext thread, because I'm tired of these stories flooding /shr/. Shrektexts outside of thread will likely be locked or deleted.

Please post your stories here!
90 posts and 32 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.402369

By an anonymous broger
>be me
>14
>at in n' out with some friends, just got back from lazertag
>in line, talking about the sheer amount of layers our burgers will contain >2nd in line, some fat fuck is taking forever
>not really listening to his order, but 1 particular line catches my attention >"hold the onions please."
>i put my hand on his shoulder angrily

>"hey what the fuck is your problem?"


>my buddies circle around him, we start questioning his worthless existence, >our escapades attract the attention of the whole resturant

>the rather large man begins to shove me and my fellow brogres, and a fight quickly escalates
>everyone in the stores sides, brogres and non-brogres
>outnumbered as fuck
>ohfuck.jpg
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.



File: 1408735383844.png (559.38 KB, 1024x712, minecraft.png)

 No.401055[Reply]

Welcome to the megathread for the minecraft server. Here you can talk, discuss, and showoff everything minecraft related. You can also make suggestions, ban appeals, and keep updated here.

About server: currently online, check here to see status. Cracked players are welcomed. The server is version 1.7.9 and the IP: shrekchan.org

Previous poll:
http://strawpoll.me/2363039/
72 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.402363

>faggot



File: 1413766048458.png (35.86 KB, 300x250, YBdMDhLhmR-22.png)

 No.402350[Reply]

2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.402353

>reddit

 No.402355

>>402350
>reddit

 No.402356

>reddit

 No.402357

>spongebob

 No.402370

>Reddit



File: 1413829870619.jpg (239.01 KB, 1920x1080, tumblr_static_ddd (3).jpg)

 No.402367[Reply]

Welcome to the Shrek-tastic birthday, this is where we can get your
kids to invite us into your house and we can Shrek as much as your kid wants us to. it all
started in 1342 when Shrek was born, he had a loving mom and an ogre Dad. when his dad got
mad he would roar his mighty roar upon his child. the ogrely obusive father then sent his kid
out into the world at the age of 12. all of Shrek's brothers stayed behind to obey Shrek's dads orders.
Shreks dads name was Shreklington and he didnt like shrek cause he always acted ogrely at the table.
then in 1736 Shrek found a job at a 711 and was working as a window cleaner. and thats when he
found his talent. everyday at the 711, kids would pass by and Shrek would shoot gallons of onion
essence from his shrock onto the window. then in 1877 he became a stand up comidian and all of his jokes
were shreking funny. he'd shoot the onion whenever he laughed and coated the crowd with it as they cheered.
but then Shreklington saw Shrek and was mad of this becasue Shrek was more sucessfull than him.
Shreklington got up onto the stage then they started Shreking each other in a ogrely loud argument fulled with
Shrock size and onion puns. Shrek finally won then Shreked Shrekington with his huge Shrock. Everyone was then happy.
we opened this site to Dedicate our gratitude to shrek and we want to Shrek your kids too whenever Shrek doesnt
have time too. call us at 1800-Shrek-Ur-Kids.


File: 1413825423501.jpg (398.25 KB, 1617x1155, image.jpg)

 No.402364[Reply]

>Be me
>Be 39
>Be an uncle
>Molest children in the name of shrek
>Get arrested
>Summon shrek
>Nothing happens
>Pray to shrek
>Shrek whispers in ear
>" Don't cry ogre it, I'll save you soon enough"
>Get to police station
>Summon shrek
>Shrek bursts through wall
>Rapes everyone
>Gives me his dolphin
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


File: 1413038026213.png (303.86 KB, 656x403, disgusting.png)

 No.402259[Reply]

 No.402261

SLAY HIM

 No.402262

>>402259
Stop roleplaying

 No.402273

>>402259
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 No.402362

Lord shrek will deal with him indefinitely. Great pleasure will be taken from his death.



File: 1413335305422.jpg (51.68 KB, 542x537, ray.jpg)

 No.402300[Reply]

no golfing in my swamp

 No.402305

>>402300
Let's take a moment to imagine golfing in mud. Pretty hard

 No.402361

File: 1413824533762.jpg (30.64 KB, 400x390, image.jpg)




File: 1413821392358.jpg (19.7 KB, 720x368, daddy.jpg)

 No.402360[Reply]

Do the roar.


File: 1412540754039.jpg (41.79 KB, 730x422, shrek-donkey1.jpg)

 No.402157[Reply]

2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.402186

File: 1412640046452.jpg (283.15 KB, 1600x1049, ChiIL-Mama-Act-Out-Shrek-the-M…)

So I just reread it and that was chapter 1 of 20? Are you fucking me?

 No.402204

>>402157
Anyone else fapping to this?

 No.402213

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 No.402337

File: 1413621831078.jpg (58.05 KB, 402x500, 1311948270220.jpg)

i just wasted my life reading 7 whole chapters of this, made me aroused, but also a bit weird feeling and pedo-ish.

 No.402354

This story is pretty disgusting lmfao but as a prophet of SHREK I had to finish it to continue my studies.



File: 1411943705308.png (430.73 KB, 596x617, 1404275220161.png)

 No.401962[Reply]

Hi I'm a real-life ogre ask me anything.

 No.401963

File: 1411944085966.jpg (2.76 KB, 68x102, search.jpg)

How many layers do you have?

 No.401968

>>401963
One half penis

 No.401977

On a scale of 1 to Bogre how beta are you?

 No.402348

how big do you like your onions



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