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/shr/ - Shrek

For all things shrek
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Minecraft server is RIP since no activity

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New greentext thread, because I'm tired of these stories flooding /shr/. Shrektexts outside of thread will likely be locked or deleted.

Please post your stories here!
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>Goddard comes

>Donkey comes too
>The two sidekicks fight
>Goddard burns Donkey to a crisp
>Jimmy's rocket gets harder and longer
>It's too much for Shrek
>He leaves our universe to find a new one.
>Jimmy takes over
>Jimmy is my new god
>I fucking love him
>I modeled my car after Goddard
>I've completely forgotten about Shrek
>Goes to thrift store
>I've got twenty dollars in my pocket.
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what do i do if i consider shrek an epic meme? report the whole website?


Shrekfags btfo

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Does anyone know where to find CBoyardee's videos? Powerful Bad Boys and Semper Games in particular
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Holy hell you meme shitheads actually know cboyardee existed

he is probably responsible for every horrible joke you've reused a hundred times, right?


Upload to youtube pleas


>Holy hell you meme shitheads actually know cboyardee existed
Yep but not many people do!

>he is probably responsible for every horrible joke you've reused a hundred times, right?

Indirectly, yes.


>Holy hell you meme shitheads actually know cboyardee existed


Uploading them to Youtube ain't gonna do any good, he'll just take them down again. Some guy on /x/ is offering a much larger trades package right now, it would really be worth someone's while to dig up something he doesn't have

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Welcome to the megathread for the minecraft server. Here you can talk, discuss, and showoff everything minecraft related. You can also make suggestions, ban appeals, and keep updated here.

About server: currently online, check here to see status. Cracked players are welcomed. The server is version 1.7.9 and the IP: shrekchan.org

Previous poll:
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I get a massive eshrektion just thinking about it.




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when the autist tries too hard


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Some Shrek poetry for y'all, in response to the ogerly done greentexts of late.

Ode to an Ogre

My layers ache, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of potion I had drunk,
Or smoked some dank swamp kush that drains
One minute past, and that the world was to roll me had sunk;
’Tis not through envy of thy layered lot,
But being too layered in thine layerdness,-
That thou, heavy-bellied Sultan of the swamp,
In some onion-scented plot
Of beechen green, and layers numberless,
Singest from Smash Mouth in mud-covered ease.

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Away! Away! for I will fly to thee,
Not charioted by Rogen and his blunts,
But on the viewless wings of Poesy,
Though it is not much understood by these cunts:
Already with thee! tender is the night,
And haply Fiona is on her throne,
Cluster’d around by all her fairy-tale friends;
But here there is no light,
Save what from your films with the media sells
Through ogre done editing, and Drek redesigns.

I cannot see what brimstone is at my feet,
Nor what Dragons lie beyond my bridge,
But, in onion-scented darkness, guess each sweet
Wherewith the superb first film the mountains ridge
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No love for Shroetry?


Nice poem

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Hi I'm a real-life ogre ask me anything.


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How many layers do you have?


One half penis


On a scale of 1 to Bogre how beta are you?


how big do you like your onions


Can you Shrek it?

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>be me
>be 2 yrs old
>like shrek
>knows about sex
>prays for shreks cock in ass
>"its all ogre now laddeh"
>shrek fuks my ass
>shrek is love
>shrek is life


You're a faggot and shrek is piss.


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Btw thats not a picture of me, im the hair by the side


>stop roleplaying

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Shrek's Ogrezord forms the body and a ogre shaped helmet attaches to head, bleck's donkeyzord forms the arms, drek's Dreckzord forms the left leg, and shurk's Shrockzord forms the right leg. Fiona's Onionzord attaches to the chest, then they call down the ogre sword! Ogrezord Activate!

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It was my first day of school in a new town, and the teacher asks me to bring something in for show and tell the next day. I say "I already have something." she says "Great." When I got in front of the class I showed my limited edition copy of Shrek 2. Everyone including the teacher laughs at me. "Shrek help me." They laugh and call me a scrub. I call them drek. I hear a loud thud on the roof. I look up and see Shrek tearing the roof off with his powerful ogre hands. I am so happy now. Shrek jumps down and lands on the teachers face crushing her skull. Shrek picked up the dead body and rips it in half. One of the children tries to run away. Shrek quickly shoved one half of the teacher down his throat and the other up his little boy anus. Shrek rips the door off of the wall and breaks it over the childs head. Shrek looks at the other children as All Star begins to play. Shrek pulls down his pants revealing his 12-foot penis. The children can’t handle it they all turn into onions. The principal walks in. Shrek turns to him and impales him with his powerful Shrek cock. He runs outside and gruesomely impales everyone else in the school. Shrek comes back to me and I am on my hands and knees. He has a look of happiness. Shrek penetrates me but, his penis is too large to fit so he tears my ass cheeks apart and rips through my mouth. I pass out from lack of oxygen and Shrek exits my digestive system and flies me home. during the flight I awaken and tell him to take me to his swamp. Shrek laughs a mighty Ogre laugh and says “ If I let you, so would someone else and pretty soon my swamp will be crowded and drek. He was right I had’nt thought of it that way. We arrive and he puts me in my bed and flies through my window. Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

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Drek thread


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Get out drek!


when the newfiona actually likes shit aka piss aka shrek aka shit

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