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/shr/ - Shrek

For all things shrek
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Shrekchan minecraft server is now online! Cracked players also welcome! Version 1.7.9 and IP: shrekchan.org

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New greentext thread, because I'm tired of these stories flooding /shr/. Shrektexts outside of thread will likely be locked or deleted.

Please post your stories here!
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By an anonymous broger
>be me
>at in n' out with some friends, just got back from lazertag
>in line, talking about the sheer amount of layers our burgers will contain >2nd in line, some fat fuck is taking forever
>not really listening to his order, but 1 particular line catches my attention >"hold the onions please."
>i put my hand on his shoulder angrily

>"hey what the fuck is your problem?"

>my buddies circle around him, we start questioning his worthless existence, >our escapades attract the attention of the whole resturant

>the rather large man begins to shove me and my fellow brogres, and a fight quickly escalates
>everyone in the stores sides, brogres and non-brogres
>outnumbered as fuck
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Welcome to the megathread for the minecraft server. Here you can talk, discuss, and showoff everything minecraft related. You can also make suggestions, ban appeals, and keep updated here.

About server: currently online, check here to see status. Cracked players are welcomed. The server is version 1.7.9 and the IP: shrekchan.org

Previous poll:
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Welcome to the Shrek-tastic birthday, this is where we can get your
kids to invite us into your house and we can Shrek as much as your kid wants us to. it all
started in 1342 when Shrek was born, he had a loving mom and an ogre Dad. when his dad got
mad he would roar his mighty roar upon his child. the ogrely obusive father then sent his kid
out into the world at the age of 12. all of Shrek's brothers stayed behind to obey Shrek's dads orders.
Shreks dads name was Shreklington and he didnt like shrek cause he always acted ogrely at the table.
then in 1736 Shrek found a job at a 711 and was working as a window cleaner. and thats when he
found his talent. everyday at the 711, kids would pass by and Shrek would shoot gallons of onion
essence from his shrock onto the window. then in 1877 he became a stand up comidian and all of his jokes
were shreking funny. he'd shoot the onion whenever he laughed and coated the crowd with it as they cheered.
but then Shreklington saw Shrek and was mad of this becasue Shrek was more sucessfull than him.
Shreklington got up onto the stage then they started Shreking each other in a ogrely loud argument fulled with
Shrock size and onion puns. Shrek finally won then Shreked Shrekington with his huge Shrock. Everyone was then happy.
we opened this site to Dedicate our gratitude to shrek and we want to Shrek your kids too whenever Shrek doesnt
have time too. call us at 1800-Shrek-Ur-Kids.

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>Be me
>Be 39
>Be an uncle
>Molest children in the name of shrek
>Get arrested
>Summon shrek
>Nothing happens
>Pray to shrek
>Shrek whispers in ear
>" Don't cry ogre it, I'll save you soon enough"
>Get to police station
>Summon shrek
>Shrek bursts through wall
>Rapes everyone
>Gives me his dolphin
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Stop roleplaying




Lord shrek will deal with him indefinitely. Great pleasure will be taken from his death.

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no golfing in my swamp


Let's take a moment to imagine golfing in mud. Pretty hard


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Do the roar.

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So I just reread it and that was chapter 1 of 20? Are you fucking me?


Anyone else fapping to this?




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i just wasted my life reading 7 whole chapters of this, made me aroused, but also a bit weird feeling and pedo-ish.


This story is pretty disgusting lmfao but as a prophet of SHREK I had to finish it to continue my studies.

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Hi I'm a real-life ogre ask me anything.


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How many layers do you have?


One half penis


On a scale of 1 to Bogre how beta are you?


how big do you like your onions

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